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Warrior Wisdom - from Dr. Yurij

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    My One Thing

    Spouse at The Report March 23, 2017 Enhancing Human Performance
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    Warrior Wisdom

    I'm working on my One Thing. Actually, I have several 'one things' as they relate to my entire life and are interwoven in the theme of enhancing human performance and being a chain breaker. In fulfilling my calling I run into situations all the time that require me to speak into someone else's life. There is always this challenge in my brain and my heart.  Do I tell them the truth in a loving and kind way (and risk offending them or being misunderstood) or do I let it slide?

    Business leaders, the example below is one from my chiropractic practice but don't for a second think that this doesn't apply to you.

     

    Anyone who leads will get challenged multiple times a day to blur established boundaries.

    There are always negative consequences to blurring established boundaries.  STAY DISCIPLINED!!!

    One of the Warrior procedures dictates that the patient has to come to a Doctor's Report before starting care, and their spouse needs to be with them at the report.  Because there will be an investment of time and finances, a joint decision and commitment that this is the right doctor, clinic, and recommendation goes a long way to better compliance and successful results.

    I had a perfect example of that this week. I had a patient that was having a challenge understanding why his wife was being asked to be at the Doctor's Report on Monday night. He was a young guy who was pushing the boundaries a little.  He had two young kids at home with no family around to help out. He had some legitimate excuses as to why his wife couldn't come to the report. 

    He was questioning why his wife had to be there. I gave my typical response which was that I needed everyone involved to understand the commitment level it was going to take to get well and that there was no way that he could explain the message in the report and the results of his exam to his wife when he got home. It really wasn't a great conversation and it ended with "I'll ask her and we'll see what we can do." Who knows where this is going? If I leave it here he is coming to the report by himself.

    So I have two choices.  
    1. Be a 'nice' guy, avoid conflict, shrink back and see what happens. (I'm not really being a nice guy. I'm letting the fear of what he thinks about me and my motives compromise his health) or,
    2. I can tell him the real thing in an attempt to bring true healing to his body. The real thing is that if his wife doesn't come to the report there is a 50% chance he won't start his care and therefore he won't get well.  Even if he does start care, the statistics say his follow through and compliance to care will be terrible.

    Let's face the facts. The number one challenge in all of health care is compliance. People stop exercising and eating well almost as quickly as they start.

    The vast majority of people lack the discipline to get well. We need to provide a framework to at least give them a fighting chance.

    So with the above in mind I'm at a moment of truth with this guy and I've got one chance. To say the real thing is, "You have a problem that needs correction and you need to find someone that will help you get well again. My number one motivation right now is to get you well again and the best first step to getting you well, without a shadow of a doubt, is having you and your wife at the Doctor's Report on Monday night. Do you believe that I have your health and your best interests as my number one priority?  If the answer is no, then we don't need to do the X-Rays and this examination is over.  If the answer is yes, then we will take the films and figure out how we can get you and your wife to the Doctor's Report together."

    By the way he said yes.  We took the X-rays and we shall see what happens. His report is in two weeks.

    The reason this topic is front of mind is because I have been slack with the 'spouse at the report' in the past. It's crazy but if ego rises up and I'm more worried about getting people to like me vs saving their lives, my double yellow lines can get blurred. Just last week I had a lady come in with severe symptoms and a complete reversal.  She insisted that her husband couldn't make it to the report. She came by herself to the report and at the One on One was super excited about the opportunity to get well. She signed up for care, received her first adjustment, booked her first 90 days of appointments and just had to confirm with her husband about the method of payment. You guessed it. She never came back. So now because I didn't hold the line, I have to live with the fact that this woman's spine is still actively degenerating up to 300% faster than it should be, and her nerve system and her health are severely compromised. That's tough to live with. Of course not everyone is going to start care and that's OK, but I am going to be held accountable for doing my best.

    I need to choose to be Spirit led and not soul led.

    I need to be thankful and come from a servant heart and not from ego. 

    Where do you need to draw some double yellow lines and establish some boundaries in how you operate your practice and your business?
    Borders and boundaries, like discipline and fewer choices, equate to freedom.
    Choose wisely.  Choose freedom.
     
    Coach Yurij

    Chain Breaker

    Comment

    On Friday, April 7, 2017, Dr. Julie Donoso said:

    A great word coach! I drew the line years ago for spouse at the report and have never regretted it. Their lives are just too important.

     

    On Friday, March 24, 2017, Yves said:

    For sure this applies to all of us business leaders. there are so many places where we need to hold the line and say the truth. Because it is so common that organizations and people bend rules and processes all of the time, that you are often considered weird or tough or insensitive when when you follow processes, standards and policies! it is freedom and peace to respect boundaries. Thanks Yurij

     

    On Friday, March 24, 2017, Trevor said:

    My future patients thank you. Excellent reminder coach. Blessings. Trevor

     

    On Friday, March 24, 2017, Joshua Nikkanen said:

    Awesome post, something that God has been showing me all this week. Thanks of the authenticity Yuri!

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Freddie said:

    Thanks Yurij, 20 years into practice and this issue still is there for me too. But all this training has kept me strong and loving at the same time!

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Stephen Lippitt said:

    I've had the same experience with people starting care without the spouse present at the report, then dropping off after one visit. I've found I'm most successful getting spouses to the report when I tell them matter of factly, but from the heart to bring their spouse to the report. If I come into it worried or concerned that it might be an issue, it becomes an issue! Thanks for helping me keep my double lines strong Yurij.

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Dr Sean said:

    Nailed it brother!

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Joe hong said:

    Break my chains! I need a chain breaker! I'll be reading this one more than a dozen times

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, David Cameron said:

    Some days when I go in with a NP, I have a sense of relief if the paperwork says 'single' (or widowed or divorced) because then I don't have to deal with spouse at the report. That said, I have let the line blur at times and get more joy out of having the spouse at the report, even if they don't begin care, because I have seen the fruits of the seeds that are planted in the report bear fruit. Results are better with spousal support, and results can often lead the spouse in at a later time. I recently had one husband of a patient that I have been caring for over 3 years come in. He was at her initial report, but didn't feel the need at the time. Now he's wondering why he waited and has referred in their adult son as well. Spouse at the report - holding the line.

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Brent said:

    Hi Yurij - thanks for this - a really helpful reminder for me on holding the line!

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Erin McLaughlin said:

    Had this exact challenge on Monday this week. The training for me lies in delivery of my boundaries...sometimes I feel like I'm coming across too harshly when I hold the line. Other times I feel like I'm Dr. Loosey Goosey and let go when I shouldn't. I appreciate greatly the coaching in your post today. It reminds me to speak from my heart. I'll never go home feeling poorly if I do that, even if the outcome isn't exactly what I would have chosen. Thank you again!

     

    On Thursday, March 23, 2017, Brad said:

    Thanks for being so honest Yurij. Your words are so true: is it about them, or me? I love it when I choose to stand strong and make it all about them. Warrior continues to give me the tools to allow this to happen more often. With love and gratitude! Brad

     

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